Not of this world.

I had something very sad happen today.  It made me realize how easy it is to allow things of this world to come in and effect us.  Makes things that should bother us not seem that big of a deal.  Then when we get called out on them we become defensive and and full of excuses.  A little while back, I found a dear friend of mine on Facebook.  I had been trying to locate him for years and I finally found him.  We found out that he was a pastor now but we didn't talk a whole lot but it was just nice to know where he and his wife were.  We had been really close to he and his wife when we were first married and spent a lot of time together.  This morning I got on FB and there was somthing really offensive on her wall.  I didn't even know what to think and needless to say I deleted her as a friend.  I have made the decision that if anyone I have as a friend posts something offensive or any of their friends I will have to block them because I don't want it showing up on my wall. I then scrolled down and he also had somthing on his wall that I felt was inappropriate.  Especially for someone stating to serve Christ and someone who serves as a pastor.  I did say somthing on his wall.  Not much but I did express my shock and disappointment.  I later got a message from him that felt like a scolding.  Excuse after excuse, telling me who Jesus was around when he was on this earth etc.  My heart broke.  He did appologize for offending me but then came the infamous "but".  It gave me a taste of what I am stepping into.  A world that hates me and what I stand for.  A world that looks at me as a prude, judmental and a goody toshoes.  That suddenly someone I thought would be like minded with me points at me and says basically "you aren't perfect."  I never will claim to be perfect, I won't be perfect as long as I am on the world but I must be striving for it.  If I do somthing I shouldn't and believe me I do, I hope I will get called out on it.  I need to be held accountable for it.  He posted somthing on his wall and he mentioned "for those of you that know me, you know I never ment to offend anyone."  Well shouldn't we also want to make sure that those that DON"T really know us can see what we stand for and see Christ when they look at us?

It's all a matter of trust.

What do you trust in?  Do you trust in yourself?  Do you trust in this world?  It is a very important question and I encourage you to really think about it.  I have discovered that there is truly only one thing I can truly trust in and that is my Lord and Savior.  He is constant.  He never changes.  He doesn't have a bad day and his feelings and desires for me are not based on human emotion but but emotion, perfect emotion.  Psalms 7:1 says it so perfectly but yet so simply.  "O Lord my God, in you I put my trust."  The more I study the perfect, never changing, word of God, I get to know him better.  I learn of ALL his attributes, not just the ones that make people feel warm and fuzzy but the ones that this world don't seem to talk about anymore.  These are the things that make him the ONLY thing we can truly trust.  His perfect justice, his perfect anger, his perfect love.  That is why I trust him when he says it is time to go.  I know that none of his requests are selfish.  He only wants what is best for me because he loves me perfectly.  No alterior motives, he won't lie to me to get what he wants.  I encourage you to place you trust in him.  He will never fail.

I am chosen.

"I didn't choose him, he chose me."  That reality came at me today like a freight train.  I was doing my devotions this morning from my Utmost for his Highest and it was about committing to Gods purpose and one of the verses he uses was John 15: 16-19.  Jesus says that he chose use we did not choose him and he chose us to go and bear fruit.  We have to be in Gods hands to do as he pleases.  Our purpose is to  witness so others can be placed on the Rock, Jesus Christ, just as we were placed.  After reading this over and over again it was like I finally got it.  This is my answer to everyone who questions why we would uproot our life and move to Cheyenne.  "I have to, we are chosen and we must go."  Yes we can refuse.  We can always refuse but going against what God wants us to do is a dangerous place to be.  I want to be in his will always.  We were created to serve him and bring Glory to him.  That is it.  EVERYTHING that we do as christians should be about serving him.  Our job, our friends, our spare time.  Deuteromy 28:14 says "woe to you if you turn aside, to the left or to the right".   We can't do that. We have spent our whole life doing things that we wanted to do.  It is now time to do what God is telling us to do.  He is not "asking" us to go, he is TELLING us to go and we have to obey whether we understand or not.  I am going to go willingly and with a happy heart.  I want to see the beauty that God is going to create out of this.  It is time to get excited and praise him for what he is doing.

Tears today.

I have tears today.  Tears that want to flow and fill an ocean.  It just hit me all of a sudden that in 3 weeks I will once again pack up my life and leave the ones I love behind.  I will move to a place I do not know and start over.  For those of you that don't know us, that has been a large part of our lives.  Running from the Lord and seeking the things of the world had my husband restless and wandering and we have moved alot.  Twin Falls is the first place we have lived in this long.  It is home.  I became a grandma here.  I became a nurse here.  I found Jesus here and now it is time to leave.  This is the first time we have ever started over because God asked us to and I know there are so many people that do not understand.  Some of the tears come from that too.  Wish there were more hearts celebrating with us.  More hearts that understood and sent their blessings with us.  I know that it is not about man but our hearts don't always understand that.  I wish I had a church gathering around us to pray with us and wish us well but we are alone and will be celebrated by our friends in Cheyenne when we arrive. I have faith in God.  I do.  This is what we are suppose to be doing I just wish that it could be easier and less painful today.

He'll take care of the rest.

About 2 months ago, right after I gave my notice at work that I was leaving, I got a call from my oldest daughter telling me that she had just lost her job.  I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me and I thought "how can I leave her and the baby here with no job?"  My husbands personality changed and he became quiet and withdrawn.  Wouldn't talk about Cheyenne much and I knew as her dad, her protector her was thinking the same thing as I was.  No matter how old they get when your kids are in trouble, you feel like it is your responsibility to help them and protect them.  Especially my girl who has a son of her own with no other help.  I prayed so hard and God just reassured me that he was taking care of us.  I knew that but deep inside I kept asking "but what about her?"  It has been a hard 2 months.  I worried, I prayed, I cried.  Yesterday she called me and she got a job.  I can not begin to describe the relief and joy that came across me and the lightness in my heart.  Came home to a husband full of joy and excitement about going.  What a difference.  Then this morning I realized that I should of felt that way all along.  When God told me he was taking care of us I should of realized that when he promised that it extended to my children.  He knows what our children mean to us and by taking care of them he takes care of us.  He promises that "he will take care of the rest."  We have to believe that he KNOWS what we need and it IS important to him.

Under his wings

What a beautiful and glorious place to be.  Me and Tony were just spending some time in the word together and I flipped over to Psalms 91 and God revealed so much to me.  Last week I did a study of Ruth by Jon Piper ( go to his website and listen it is awsome) and he talked about how got uses what we consider stumbling blocks to protect us.  We see them as set back and inconveniences but they are Gods special way of protecting us.  VS 4: "He shall cover you with His feathers, and His wings you shall take refuge."  I realized that is where I have been this week.  I could not understand why God would allow me to go through such pain and keep me home from work when we are trying to get ready to leave and I need to work and everyone needed me!!! ( my flesh talking of course ) Today he gently reminded me that I was being protected.  I don't know from what.  It may have had nothing to do with me at all but he needed me home this week.  Maybe he kept me from getting in a car accident, or hurting someone else in one.  May Visions needed me gone for some reason.  I don't know and I don't think I ever will but he knew that the only way to keep me home was to make it impossible for me to go to work.  He also wanted to make sure he got my attention.  Remind me to slow down a little and get my priorities strate.  My job requires a lot from me and I don't always put it in the place in my life I should.  I needed to step back and realize that I have limits and I have to come home and live a different life.  I can't live my job.  It is amazing though.  I am feeling so much better today.  Haven't had near as much pain and I am getting the feeling back in my leg.  I guess what ever he needed me to stay away from I did and now he is sending me back to where he wants me.  When you are facing a stumbling block and it is frustrating and you don't understand remember God sees EVERYTHING and know what he needs to do to keep you under his wing and protect you.  You are were God wants you to be.  That is always under his wing in the shadow of the Almighty.

The smile of a child

Today was my birthday and what I wanted most was to hug my grandbabies.  2 of them are in Georgia but I got to see them on Skype but the other one is close and he came to see grandma.  Momma got him all shiny and smelling good and when he came around the corner and saw me he got a big smile on his face and when I took him in my arms, he cuddled up.  I'll tell you what, God definately knew what he was doing when he created grandchildren.