Joy always Hebrews 13:15

It has been a long time since I have posted on my blog.  I created it to let people know where God was leading us in our ministry and I haven't written since I moved here.  When we got here things were a lot different than I thought they would be.  We weren't welcome with the open arms we expected.  Others had decided what our ministry would be but yet that is not where we felt led.  I didn't get a job in the field I felt I was "called to". I found myself working in a nursing home on the floor, bored and discouraged.  Found a church of loving people, very loving people whom I now love so much but boy am I different than them.  I have spent the last 3 months discouraged and angry and because of that I could not see what God wanted my ministery to be.  I was too wrapped up in self pity, discouragement and doubt I couldn't see the forest for the trees.  One month ago I got a promotion at work.  I was made a unit manager on a unit I have never worked on before.  Didn't know the nurses, patients, aids.  Had seen faces but did not know them.  I was suddenly in charge of over 50 people and about 10 nurses and to many aids to count.  Still don't know them all.  I was so excited.  Didn't take make for the joy to fizzle for me.  I love my job but boy or boy what a challenge.  Me and the other unit manager want to make change but everyday it seems that more work is pilled up on me.  Nurses and aids that don't do their job and I was to the point of throwing up my hands and saying "I give up. Lord, I thought you brought me here for a ministry and this is what I have.  I could have done this in Twin Falls and stayed by my family."  I wanted to be used at church, not happening.  I wanted to work with women.  Wasn't happening.  Then last night I reluctantly went to what is called womens GAB night at church.  Sparks were flying from my dragging feet but I went.  The lesson was on "does you attitude stink."  When I heard the title I knew I was in trouble cause mine could be smelled a mile away and it was not a nice smell.  They will not bottle it at bath and body works.  I spent my morning on my knees and he showed me I AM in the ministry he has chosen for me right now.  I am SURROUNDED by women that I need to minister to.  How better to make a change on my unit than to bring Christ there.  Our work is not always in our churchs.  He has others there.  He wants to be at Life Care Center of Cheyenne.  He wants me to pray and bring his word there.  He took us to that church to be fed and that is ALL right now.  It is not to play the piano, have a womans bible study, etc. it is to be fed because we need to be fed so we can spread his word in the places we go.  Today I challenge you all to praise God for EVERYTHING that comes across your path today.  Not just the good because to God all things are good that can be used to bring him Glory.  Thank you Lord for being so patient with me while I pouted and fretted. You are so faithful.

Do you give God your best?

This morning I woke up refreshed and ready to go.  I am sleeping better and I wanted to get up and have some quality time with the Lord.  Sometimes I find myself giving him what is left and not my first fruits.  We tend to do that don't we?  We convince ourselves that we will spend time with him when the rush of the day is over, when our minds are clear and we can consentrate.  Well, I am lying to myself.  My mind is so full of what happened that day I can't give him my best.  I now have the frustrations of the day, the business of the day going around and around in my head that my mind wanders.  I am also so tired that I can't seem to think straight.  The t.v. is on in the other room and flopping on the couch and vegging out sure does seem appealing. God wants my best.  That is not to much to ask, he gave his best for us.  He didn't give us his leftovers.  He gave us himself, the best, nothing held back.  How is it then that we think it is o.k to give him our worst?  We could never even begin to give back to him what he deserves.  We could never praise him enough, study enough, pray enough so it seems the least we could do is give him the best of what we do have, our time. The truth of it is, our time is not our own.  It doesn't belong to us, it belongs to God.  Christian or non Christian, it is his.  I challenge whomever reads this to give him what rightfully belongs to him, our first fruits, our bes.

Not of this world.

I had something very sad happen today.  It made me realize how easy it is to allow things of this world to come in and effect us.  Makes things that should bother us not seem that big of a deal.  Then when we get called out on them we become defensive and and full of excuses.  A little while back, I found a dear friend of mine on Facebook.  I had been trying to locate him for years and I finally found him.  We found out that he was a pastor now but we didn't talk a whole lot but it was just nice to know where he and his wife were.  We had been really close to he and his wife when we were first married and spent a lot of time together.  This morning I got on FB and there was somthing really offensive on her wall.  I didn't even know what to think and needless to say I deleted her as a friend.  I have made the decision that if anyone I have as a friend posts something offensive or any of their friends I will have to block them because I don't want it showing up on my wall. I then scrolled down and he also had somthing on his wall that I felt was inappropriate.  Especially for someone stating to serve Christ and someone who serves as a pastor.  I did say somthing on his wall.  Not much but I did express my shock and disappointment.  I later got a message from him that felt like a scolding.  Excuse after excuse, telling me who Jesus was around when he was on this earth etc.  My heart broke.  He did appologize for offending me but then came the infamous "but".  It gave me a taste of what I am stepping into.  A world that hates me and what I stand for.  A world that looks at me as a prude, judmental and a goody toshoes.  That suddenly someone I thought would be like minded with me points at me and says basically "you aren't perfect."  I never will claim to be perfect, I won't be perfect as long as I am on the world but I must be striving for it.  If I do somthing I shouldn't and believe me I do, I hope I will get called out on it.  I need to be held accountable for it.  He posted somthing on his wall and he mentioned "for those of you that know me, you know I never ment to offend anyone."  Well shouldn't we also want to make sure that those that DON"T really know us can see what we stand for and see Christ when they look at us?

It's all a matter of trust.

What do you trust in?  Do you trust in yourself?  Do you trust in this world?  It is a very important question and I encourage you to really think about it.  I have discovered that there is truly only one thing I can truly trust in and that is my Lord and Savior.  He is constant.  He never changes.  He doesn't have a bad day and his feelings and desires for me are not based on human emotion but but emotion, perfect emotion.  Psalms 7:1 says it so perfectly but yet so simply.  "O Lord my God, in you I put my trust."  The more I study the perfect, never changing, word of God, I get to know him better.  I learn of ALL his attributes, not just the ones that make people feel warm and fuzzy but the ones that this world don't seem to talk about anymore.  These are the things that make him the ONLY thing we can truly trust.  His perfect justice, his perfect anger, his perfect love.  That is why I trust him when he says it is time to go.  I know that none of his requests are selfish.  He only wants what is best for me because he loves me perfectly.  No alterior motives, he won't lie to me to get what he wants.  I encourage you to place you trust in him.  He will never fail.

I am chosen.

"I didn't choose him, he chose me."  That reality came at me today like a freight train.  I was doing my devotions this morning from my Utmost for his Highest and it was about committing to Gods purpose and one of the verses he uses was John 15: 16-19.  Jesus says that he chose use we did not choose him and he chose us to go and bear fruit.  We have to be in Gods hands to do as he pleases.  Our purpose is to  witness so others can be placed on the Rock, Jesus Christ, just as we were placed.  After reading this over and over again it was like I finally got it.  This is my answer to everyone who questions why we would uproot our life and move to Cheyenne.  "I have to, we are chosen and we must go."  Yes we can refuse.  We can always refuse but going against what God wants us to do is a dangerous place to be.  I want to be in his will always.  We were created to serve him and bring Glory to him.  That is it.  EVERYTHING that we do as christians should be about serving him.  Our job, our friends, our spare time.  Deuteromy 28:14 says "woe to you if you turn aside, to the left or to the right".   We can't do that. We have spent our whole life doing things that we wanted to do.  It is now time to do what God is telling us to do.  He is not "asking" us to go, he is TELLING us to go and we have to obey whether we understand or not.  I am going to go willingly and with a happy heart.  I want to see the beauty that God is going to create out of this.  It is time to get excited and praise him for what he is doing.

Tears today.

I have tears today.  Tears that want to flow and fill an ocean.  It just hit me all of a sudden that in 3 weeks I will once again pack up my life and leave the ones I love behind.  I will move to a place I do not know and start over.  For those of you that don't know us, that has been a large part of our lives.  Running from the Lord and seeking the things of the world had my husband restless and wandering and we have moved alot.  Twin Falls is the first place we have lived in this long.  It is home.  I became a grandma here.  I became a nurse here.  I found Jesus here and now it is time to leave.  This is the first time we have ever started over because God asked us to and I know there are so many people that do not understand.  Some of the tears come from that too.  Wish there were more hearts celebrating with us.  More hearts that understood and sent their blessings with us.  I know that it is not about man but our hearts don't always understand that.  I wish I had a church gathering around us to pray with us and wish us well but we are alone and will be celebrated by our friends in Cheyenne when we arrive. I have faith in God.  I do.  This is what we are suppose to be doing I just wish that it could be easier and less painful today.

He'll take care of the rest.

About 2 months ago, right after I gave my notice at work that I was leaving, I got a call from my oldest daughter telling me that she had just lost her job.  I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me and I thought "how can I leave her and the baby here with no job?"  My husbands personality changed and he became quiet and withdrawn.  Wouldn't talk about Cheyenne much and I knew as her dad, her protector her was thinking the same thing as I was.  No matter how old they get when your kids are in trouble, you feel like it is your responsibility to help them and protect them.  Especially my girl who has a son of her own with no other help.  I prayed so hard and God just reassured me that he was taking care of us.  I knew that but deep inside I kept asking "but what about her?"  It has been a hard 2 months.  I worried, I prayed, I cried.  Yesterday she called me and she got a job.  I can not begin to describe the relief and joy that came across me and the lightness in my heart.  Came home to a husband full of joy and excitement about going.  What a difference.  Then this morning I realized that I should of felt that way all along.  When God told me he was taking care of us I should of realized that when he promised that it extended to my children.  He knows what our children mean to us and by taking care of them he takes care of us.  He promises that "he will take care of the rest."  We have to believe that he KNOWS what we need and it IS important to him.